Thursday, 30 May 2013

Master 4 and hereditary food habits

Sometimes I look at Master 4 with a perplexed look on my face and I truly don't get it.
I can present him with a healthy and nutritious meal that I've prepared only to have him screw his nose up and refuse to eat a bite. Set a happy meal in front of him though and it's on like Donkey Kong, in fact he eats it so fast them mooches leftovers from anyone who has been silly enough to have any left by the time he is finished.
This is the relationship that I had with food as a child, If it doesn't taste good then I'm not eating it. I remember exasperated sighs given over summer when my sister 'wanted salad for tea' and I would fight tooth and nail because 'salad isn't a meal, it's a side'.  I lived for sweet, salty and takeaway everything else was just filler. I would eat what was dished up though complain loudly about it when it was not what 'I wanted'. On those times when Master 4 also pulls this stunt I become a frustrated and angry being. I worked hard to make that and you wont even try it, I cant even imagine what I put my poor mother through as I pulled this attitude until I moved out of home.
This attitude did me no favors, I always thought of myself as a good cook, which I am if it's cakes, deserts and slices.
Normal nutritious meals, not so much.
When I moved out I ate whatever I wanted which worked well for the 1st 3-4 months, then I found myself craving 'good foods' All of a sudden I would start preparing veggies as sides, and salad with grilled chicken. Who was this person, I don't have to answer to anyone so why am I not eating at McDonald's...
By the time this insight occurred I was pushing 100kg....

So back to Master 4, I can see this in him his love for doughnuts, cookies and snack foods that knows no bounds he loves a sandwich, especially peanut butter and will eat more fruit than should be humanly possible.  I am starting to question myself, is this a good attitude to have? Should I be limiting his fruit intake and playing the battle of wills at dinnertime.
He is by no means overweight, I believe that the sheer amount of energy he burns just to function at the high speed non stop level that he does would negate the majority of 'bad foods' that does cross his little lips. I am strict about snack foods and processed foods he is only allowed to have a biscuit, or cake, or muesli bar each day. I constantly discuss portions and consequence

Mum: 'If you have your pack of tiny teddies now you will be angry later when your sister eats hers and you cant have any more,"
Master 4 "I know mum but I want it now"

10 minutes later.... "I want some more teddies"
1 hour later.... "Miss 1 has some, it's not fair"
2 hours later..." Please I want more teddies"
4 hours later mummy is ready to lose the plot as all I've heard for the past two hours is that slow 4 year old whine "i want, i want, I want!"
In this time frame he will have eaten, 2 apples, a banana, a tub of yogurt and a sandwich but will still insist he's starving and needs those teddies!

So what is the solution, I understand his want/need for those foods he adores and how it can control your thoughts and make you feel gooey and warm inside when you do get them. I understand that you don't really want them, you NEED them, like oxygen. I understand as I too was him and continued to be that way until my early 20's.
How do I explain to Master 4 that if he continues to eat what he wants, when he wants he'll end up a miserable adult and a slave to food.
How can I protect him from the same fate I suffered, I do not want him to be picked on in school or criticized for everything he eats. I don't want him to feel deprived every time he see's a fast food chain sign and thinks about that salty bounty within. He LOVES food just as I did.

I am attempting to change my ways, as I still have a love affair with hot jam doughnuts chocolate chip cookies even now I get that gooey feeling when I consume them. How can I teach a 4 your old to control an impulse that has taken me until now to fully admit to and attempt to contain.
How can I teach him that sometimes even if you think your hungry your not?
How can I protect him from hitting the obese category due to his genuine love of food and inability to stop?

I don't blame my parents for letting me down, I can appreciate how awful it must have been for them and how much easier it was to dish up what I wanted than deal with the arguments and the foot stomping and the grunts of dissatisfaction. Now the tables have turned and I don't want that for my kids, they deserve more and they deserve the head start in life that come with being healthy and normal.

My parents (though I love them anyway) were terrible roll models, my father has NO idea about nutrition and was never on board with mum when she was attempting to right the wrongs of poor food choices. He would grunt and play with his food then eat a pack of chips half an hour after dinner. Mum tried her hardest, but working full time, with 3 children (my father, my sister and I) all whining about not liking this that or the other I don't blame her for giving up. Being a parent myself now I understand the pressures she was under and absolutely don't blame her for dishing up the same things time after time, it was easier than the arguing and the effort needed for all of us to even try something new... or something vegetable....
My dad and sister are those people that can eat anything and stay slim.... mum and I are not. So alas Dad's instance on dessert after each meal and then the after dinner snacking was a habit that Mum and I both didn't need (and consequently suffered for)

The best I have at the moment is positive role modeling and leading by example but whenever I look at Master 4's epic disappointment that there will be no nuggets for dinner, or no doughnut when shopping I feel his pain and wish I had the magic wand that would make him understand that what I'm doing is not to punish him, or deprive him, It's to protect him.

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Week 3 already!

I can't believe that yesterday was the beginning of week 3,
I feel like I blinked and missed it.
One thing I must say is that my illness REALLY knocked me on my ass last week. after a few walks to and from kinder and very short bursts on the wii I felt as though I wasn't really getting anywhere, It also highlighted that I was a lot less organized that I believed I was.
On Sunday my appetite returned with a vengeance that knew no bounds and my body was screaming for sweet comfort foods and seemed that nothing was enough to satisfy. Lot's of air popped popcorn was consumed and a very early night was had.

This week I have been focusing my efforts on organization.
I have been freezer stocking meals, so I have portions of butter chicken all ready in, with dahl and chicken and quinoa soup container-ed but not in as yet.

                         OMG best meal EVER!

Last week's Winner recipe was the fish stew.
OMG Amazing.... plus my daughter ate it... I was shocked but she loved it

Current Tally
(though it's slightly out of whack due to being sick and succumbing to the 'easy' meals excuse)

12wbt: 12 ~~~~ Kids: 3 

I am most looking forwards to zumba this evening feels like forever since I've sweat it out.
Fingers crossed for a loss tomorrow, even though I don't really deserve one!

Today Miss 1 and I enjoyed the dahl for lunch I cheated with the recipe a little by making it 3 portions and having some delicious garlic Afgan bread... SO worth it, and I'm most happy to take the calories for a 350 lunch and have a lighter snack!

Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Weigh in Day, Week 2

Hi all,
Didn't realise I'd neglected to post this! 
This week yielded a 700g loss, I've been stalking a lot in the forums and seen so many people disappointed with 1kg plus loses.
I don't get it? 
Any loss is good right?
Or did I miss the memo regarding 'appropriate weight loss on 12wbt?' 

In other news I'm still really unwell, chesty and razor blade throat. Muma has started her antibiotics and I'm hoping to be on the mend again soon. No workouts until my fever breaks though which I feel has really hurt this week :( 

My food has been at 70% yesterday I wagged dinner to sleep. Today I had mandatory training at work which was catered, I'd planned to take lunch but slept through my prep time.

Today however D made the meatballs and it was a hit all around! I did make steamed veg instead of Tabuli as I'm not up to new and exciting meals ATM :)

Master 4 loves meatballs

Miss 1 was also impressed :)

Fingers crossed I'm back fighting fit soon

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Somebody call the WAAmbulance I have a cold

So the inevitable has occurred  yesterday that tell tale tickle in the back of my nose and increased pressure in my sinus has evolved today into a full blown head cold.
That's right, I am officially sick!

Say it with me "BOOOOOOO"

Yesterday I slammed it out at body combat hoping to rid myself of the germs, I've tried this in the past but 'sweating it out' tends to do me no good. Alas once again it did not work though I have aching shoulders and chest to show for my efforts.
After my alarm sounded, along with Master 4's insistence that it's morning and Miss 1 making music by kicking the wall through the bars of her cot and singing what sounded like twinkle twinkle in scribble. I dragged myself from bed and was instantly in an awful mood. Showered in an attempt to clear my sinus and switched into daytime mode.

After loading master 4 off to kinder and getting home Miss 1 and I had some very tasty porridge for breakfast, After reading heaps of comments about how much of it there was I halved the recipe for the two of us.
As it turns out, Miss 1 ate more than I expected, and after devouring hers eyed what remained in my bowl expectantly until I handed it over. It was delicious, warm, gooey, and everything I wanted it to be. I also found it to be sweet enough but added a touch of honey to Miss 1's serve

I had planned to do my normal double Zumba tonight but being out in the near arctic temperatures that we are blessed with once the sun goes down may not help the situation. Also the fact I'm sore and sorry from yesterday may not bode well for my already struggling body. Instead I will do a DVD/video from the website. Undecided on which one as yet but I'm leaning towards stretching :)

On the plus side my appetite is almost non-existent so regardless of how today plays out, keeping to calories shouldn't be an issue.

Now for a pot of herbal tea and some quiet while Miss 1 naps, maybe I'll sneak in a kip of my own.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

SSS and resting

Tonight I ran myself a hot bath, added in some Epsom salts and had a little mummy meditation...
Until both kidlets decided mummies bath was so much more fun that eating dinner...

Yesterday I did the SSS with two super awesome girls from the local Facebook group. I am so glad that they put it out that they were doing training together and anyone was welcome. Cause boy did I feel stupid. By the end however despite being sore, sweaty and sorry for myself we managed to knock out 650cal of the days activity.
Once home, I fired up the wii and Master 4 and I had some fun playing for an hour and cooking off an additional 400cal. Though it was slow going the wii isn't an attack class that's for sure it was good to involve the kids and enjoy my last part of the burn rather than struggle through it.
In saying that my energy levels seem to have spiked again (thank goodness) and that JFDI mindset kicked in and pushed me further than I could have achieved going it alone.

Had a small dietary blip when we went to see a friend in hospital after an accident with her pressure cooker. By 3pm realized I was starving but only had dodgy food available and though I enjoyed every mouthful of my wedges and steamed dim sim still had some guilt on about it.

Dinner was the AWESOME salmon stir fry! How have I not thought to stir fry salmon before?
All in all under calories for the day so a win all around .

Breakfast Fritatta: for the win

Today was supposed to be my rest day but I had work, I'm an enrolled nurse in aged care so my fitbit was having a field day clocking up steps, stairs and average burn. By the time I got home I was exhausted and Fitbit proudly tells me I've burned just shy of 2000 calories from my shift at work.
Perhaps I need to reconsider what rest means and change my day if appropriate. For now I'll leave it alone and re-assess as week two goes on.

I may have eaten trifle today... you know because I deserved it.... Tiny bit shattered at my enabling attitude and how the devil on my shoulder won this round :(

Once home and soaking my weary body my darling D had cooked tea for tonight...
Looked amazing,
Smelled devine,
Unfortunately tasted awful.... so alas we encountered our first 12wbt fail meal

Just lucky I didn't feed it to the kids!

Current tally,
12wbt: 6, Kids: 2 

Both ate yesterdays breakfast of scrambled eggs and baked beans,
Neither would eat the breakfast fritatta (which I though was delish, plus had a complement of how good it smelt when I heated it up at work)
Both also ate the pies.... though once again Master 4 wasn't overly keen, in saying that D was home with them today so followed the meal plan and dished it up to them without a second thought

Someone give this man a prize!

Friday, 17 May 2013

Tears, tantrums and teamwork

So today was a fairly awful day for me. I've been struggling with 1200 calorie limit feeling completely exhausted and emotional. I've read through a million forums and the general consensus is how I'm feeling is fairly normal.
Also today I've been starving, all day! Once again consensus is this is normal :( 
Kept it cool and drank what felt like 50 million pots of green tea but lost the plot one D got home from work, I cried my heart out begged for ice cream and a sleep in tomorrow.
Thankfully he knows me well enough to say the right things and NOT produce the yummies. Sleep in tomorrow I've already canned for an early morning workout at the lake.
Made pies.... Kangaroo was off, so defrosted chicken mince instead, was yum, and have enough left over for work Sunday. 
After a hot shower, some dinner, and the prospect of an early night I feel much better. Even though I feel like I'm at rock bottom I can only hope things improve..

In the good news, seems I have a workout partner in the form of Master 4.... Who was most upset that I wouldn't let him use dumbbell's or cans like on the movie

Excuse the mess, but housekeeping was the last thing on my mind. 

Also miss 1 attempted to eat my wrap, so I made her one of her own she scoffed it all and I'm patting myself on the back for being a good influence.

Even a sooking, grumpy and short tempered mummy can do good even on the worst of days :) 

Check it out I think mummy deserves a point for this one!

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Winners and losers


After a few failed days both my kids thoroughly enjoyed the Bircher muesli pity D and I weren't fans! 
Both ate fish with steamed veg (instead of salad) 
Miss 1loved the stroganoff, master 4 not so much.... But he tried it... And ate some :D
Most surprisingly, both loved the soft boiled egg with solders...
(Master 4 asked if could have them again tomorrow)

Total tally in
(Please note my kids have sandwiches for lunch at this stage so only breakfast and dinners counted)
12wbt: 4, kids: 1

No score for 3 meals as only Miss 1 ate 2, and only Master 4 ate 1.
4 Days in and I would say the kids are adapting and embracing the changes albeit with a few tears and bribes thrown in for good measure. 


I've lost count of my kids vs 12wbt...
I will review pictures and post shortly, I've noticed that I'm exhausted and grumpy but I'm putting it down to low calories high burn. Today I am in negative calories according to MFP which is setting the alarm bells off a little. Perhaps I've spent too long convincing myself I need to eat to lose and now my brain is playing games.
I see a meltdown in my future but I'm trying to damage control it now before I crack.
Today I cried over nothing to my mum which is also unlike me. It's been pouring rain all day but I still went to zumba like a good girl, wagged the weights session but will back to back it with the stretching tomorrow if the kids will allow it.
Must say D has been my rock these past few days, his quiet enthusiasm for the program and pre-preparing meals has surprised and encouraged me.
Bless a good man, they are few and far between!

Monday, 13 May 2013

Organisation is the key

After some unexpected work hours this week blew my pre-cooking schedule so still was up late night doing the chicken soup and cutting veggies up for today.

This morning we all got up as a family for breakfast which was awesome for D and I.... Kids however were not overly impressed, neither would eat it :(

Kids:1 12wbt:0 

Saturday, 11 May 2013

Green Apples

Today I did my fitness test and measurements
Unfortunately the wall squat did not have additional points for Miss 1 deciding to take advantage of my position to demanded a reading of where is the green sheep complete with climbing and positioning on my lap.
Both were surprising and confirmed my place in the intermediate group. I had planned to shop and pre-cook but alas was called into work.

Guess this is the first of many hurdles to come though the next12 weeks

That and my online shopping adventure... Apparently woolworths and I have differing opinions on green apples (do excuse the terrible picture) 


So lets begin with an introduction,

I am 4 days shy of turning 31 years old, and for all of those years I have been 'big'

For the past few years I have gone from the happy fat girl to really caring a more about my weight. Not in the classical sense of I cant wear a bikini but because of the health implications. I speak no word of a lie when I say being big has not really bothered me, I was and still am a happy and outgoing person, I wore what I wanted and did what I wanted.
Through my teen's I worked hard, partied hard and didn't really pay much attention to what was going into my mouth.
Through my 20's I worked hard, studied, met the love of my life and became content in my chosen career. I also became a mother. I learnt some terrible and wonderful lessons in my time.
Then I turned 30, and my focus shifted it's not just about me anymore. I can keep being fat or I can change my ways. I have a family that needs me around, I want to be a grandmother and a great grandmother  want to be a blessing on my children, not a burden.
Now I have a family Master 4 and Miss 1 I am noticing the relationship that I have with food also reflecting onto my kids so the buck has officially been stopped. My son would live of chicken nuggets and chocolate and he LOVES to eat. Will my bad habits become his. All those times that I was told no, only to save up and eat that bag of potato chips alone and savor every mouthful. I don't want that for my babes,

I do not want my kids to be comfort eaters
I do not want my kids to be bullied or teased for how they look
I do not want my kids to grow up thinking that they deserve less because of how they look
Most of all
I do not want to be a hypocrite, how can I insist they eat well while I eat like garbage.

I have been slogging it out on my own using snippets of information and tracking what I eat. Though I have been losing it is painfully slow I have had failed attempts at a number of plans and programs that for whatever reason didn't work for me.

I have just signed up for the Michelle Bridges 12wbt,
and I'm excited, my other half is on board and my kids will have to come along for the ride.... kicking and screaming if need be.

That is the purpose of this blog not only to keep myself accountable but to show that this program can be kid friendly, I know it was my biggest concern signing up.

Life has changed, it's not just me anymore, whatever choices I make have a ripple effect on those I love so I need to tread carefully and be the best I can be which will hopefully result in my children being well informed and healthy adults.

Master 4, the hard sell

Miss 1, will try anything once 

I am not perfect but I will do everything in my power to set my children on the right path, and correct my own