Adjustment Period

So I really want to get on here and say that I've been super great, doing my exercise and eating super clean, unfortunately that's not the case I'm taking longer to a just to my new adventures than I had anticipated.
So in the typical style I just took the excuse and ran with it.
Bummer right? Well today I have been doing some planning, Monday night someone said to me are you just busy or are you being productive?
Stopped me dead in my tracks
Sure we can all be busy but how much do we actually get done? I have been throwing that busy card around like no-ones business. Can't cook, too busy.... Can't exercise... to busy...
But what am I actually doing?
To be honest, not a whole lot....
So today that is all changing, I am using my diary to actually write out get it done lists, I am also meal planning, slotting in times for shopping, food prep and of course the million other commitments I have going on.
So being busy is no longer an excuse,
From today forwards I will be productive with my time,
Next week I will rectify my lack of exercise situation by seamlessly inserting into my days.
For this week I will be getting my nutrition back on the bandwagon and sorting out how much time I actually spend doing nothing and fill that time up with far more useful things.

On that note, I have children that are waiting to play hungry hungry hippo's
I'll be checking in again soon

Flying Check in

Weigh in day, and I forgot!
*facepalm*

Life is good, but busy
Trying to work out the balance between, social, work, family and exercise...

Eeekkk,
But don't worry,
I've got this!

And she is back again....

I was so unaware it had been so long, it honestly only felt like a week had passed from my last post. 

Master 4 in his mummy made elephant get-up

Miss Almost 2 is pretty evil, lucky she's cute too

So I suppose it's that age old habit of when you are doing the wrong thing you hide away. That's actually not true, I have been 'thinking about what I'm doing' but in saying that only doing the minimum to get it done. I've not been tracking, my exercise has dropped to around 2-3 times a week and work has been so intense that I have been in the dark place eating ice-cream and not allowing myself to look outside the box. 

This morning I had a bittersweet moment, It's the 26th of October, the day of my sisters 30th and the day before Miss1 turns 2. After getting up the wrong side of the bed and really half-assing my gym session it dawned on me,

Today is the day I was supposed to be doing the 10k stampede :(

Due to money issues I was never able to register, I continued to train but my running has been very lackluster, when crunch time came, I chose birthday presents over the stampede. Add in that I've recently started seeing a chiropractor to rectify my favor to the right side and I have had days where I'm also hurting in new and exciting ways. Also more money :(

I've been looking outside and the weather is perfect, I was so worried that It would be stinking hot, but it's cool with a light drizzle that comes and goes... Bummer.

So today can go one of two ways, I can wallow in poor me's or I can use it to get back up and go.

Guess which one I've chosen?

No more floating in the middle, I've been busily printing up meal plan's and organizing my 12wbt recipe files on the computer. Obviously next round will be a going it alone round but I'm putting away money to pay for round 1 next year. I will follow the meals plans of the past two rounds and get my nutrition back on track, When pre-season starts I will be signing up that day and throwing myself into the pre-season to smash it out. 

Exercise wise will be interesting for the next few months as I have completed my training and will be starting up as an Intimo consultant on the 1st of November. My primary workout time has been evenings so my organizational skills will need to be perfect to get the exercise in. I can do it, even though it seems hard at the moment before i know it I'll be in a new routine and it will kick ass. 

Exciting times ahead for me! 

Intimo will help me support my family without needing more childcare and at the moment that is what needed to happen. We have been living month to month for the past year and although we can make it work, it truly is the most stressful and depressing time I've ever had. We have had lots of invites to events and outings that we simply cannot afford and I've had enough, my kids deserve, swimming lessons, birthday parties and special trips to places which for the past year have not been able to happen. Although it is a little scary I'm confident that the choice will pay off.

I've finally decided that Master 4 will be doing another year of kinder as he is just too young to send off to school, I sent him for another transition day and he was in a class with children primarily 2 years older than him, how can I expect him to enjoy the experience if he's all ready on the back foot being so much younger than the peers I'm placing him with? 

So I feel better for making that choice, however with it has come the realization that we are in for another 12 months of a tight budget, but now I have a plan so I'm confident we can make it work. I also finally got approved for my transfer which should happen mid-way through November. 

Exciting times ahead! 

Size 12 normal, non 'large fit' happy day's 

Also a few little fistpumps to finish,

I remain below 80kg even though I've not been devout to the program,

I'm comfortably a size 12 top, give me a few weeks (or a few more kg) and I will also be a size 14 bottom which were my goals for Christmas this year.

I've made an appointment for hypnotherapy

I've also made an appointment to get my strength workouts formalized.

Things are looking up and although it's been a dark time, it doesn't have to stay this way.

The only place I have to go is up while the scales keep moving down 

xoxox

Absent

So I've been a little absent,

Things have been pretty intense around here, We've had some money trouble and some illness to content with. As well as school holidays!
Hot water system blew up last week,
D has had days cut back at work
I had a beautiful FFS Friday post all ready to go just no time to write it.
I've been off the rails as real life has been a little intense.

BUT

I'm back, and ready to rock it.
Come at me life, I'm ready for you with a smile
AND a kickass attitude

Bring it on!

Old Enemies Return

I've been in a strange kind of limbo these past few days.
I needed to make a formal complaint at work about some practice that I was unable to resolve on the floor which has really got me down. I pride myself in my ability to talk people around but it turns out that i have exhausted all of my options and the only one left was to push it up. In nursing when you have to do that it makes you feel like crap, these are your workmates and peers that your talking about which makes for some frosty times when working. It's got me down to say the least and as a result my elation at hitting my under 80 goal has been short lived.
On a positive note, I've been exercising daily, even managed the 1000 steps yesterday afternoon with my sister and her man in tow. I'm not sure if I've moaned about my sister before, she's one of 'those' people, you know the ones that eat garbage, do nothing and always look fantastic... yep... that's my sister. However as much as I talk the talk it honestly doesn't shit me as much as it used to, I think about this journey that I'm on and I realized that she never would be able to do this she is too shy and too much of a stress head.... plus she's doing her honors year for law. Don't envy her one bit!

I found earlier in the week I was half assing workouts, I'm not really sure why Wednesday I had a killer headache and did RPM regardless which in hindsight was a mistake. Also half assed zumba and a few gym sessions, I'm putting it down to stress from work but on closer examination...

I AM A SUGAR ADDICT

When did that happen?, somehow during my 4 weeks of non weighing huge amounts of sugar have wiggled back into my diet. A sneaky chocolate here, ice cream, coke, raspberry licorice, lollies.....
Every single day....
On looking at Tuesday, I think my headache was due to sugar withdrawal

How scary that it can happen so fast and I didn't even notice until I went back over MFP, I've always been an advocate of eat the things you love but really, I've be going at it like old times.... On Thursday I skipped lunch to eat a pack of oreo's
*face palm*
Also noticed my sleeping has been going to hell with the increase... last night I was up until 2am because I decided to have a mini binge at 9pm.... it was within my calories so it was ok...
*beats head against wall*

News Flash Michelle.... IT IS NOT OK!!!!
You cannot live the same way as you did or you will look the same way!
and feel the same way,
and act the same way.....
I deserve more than that!

In other news I DID NOT want to go to gym this morning,
I sooked and stamped my feet and attempted to hide and 'forget' about the time.
I snapped at my kids and D, I text my gym buddy, I even sooked about it on facebook
I ran out of excuses and I went anyway...
Now I love that I went and am feeling 120% better
and I didn't half ass my workout....

Looks like whatever brain fart had me out of action is on the mend and I'm planning to smash the rest of this week.
Bring it on,
I am ready for you!

Woohoo!

Objective archived, those are numbers below 80kg

And I couldn't be happier, 

I remember doing this before, losing and gaining the same kilo for weeks on end,

and it completely did my head in! 

No head games to report, no stress over the number and no guilt (or pride) about what went in my mouth.

I'm so pleased at the outcome even though my total loss for this round is 2.5kg (not the most impressive)

Still have 5 weeks to go and I'm so enthused to keep kicking it, maybe I can be under 75 for NYE? Almost double and a half my original goal! 

Thanks a billon for the support all here on Instagram and Facebook, couldn't have done it without you xoxo 

The day before weigh in

It's been an interesting experiment this past month, I've been so busy that I've neglected to blog as much as I would have liked. I'm attempting to get onto it today as I wan't to review and keep an open mind on the past month regardless of tomorrows result (or lack there of)

Pro's of one month not weighing in,
Stress about the number has been eliminated, harder at the start but now it's not there at all. I weigh what I weigh and the scale doesn't dictate if it's a good or bad day.
The emotional reaction has been removed, I'm not 'celebrating' or 'punishing' myself with food and exercise which I have done in the past depending on what the scale says.
More observant of non-scale victories, clothing is getting looser, some things don't fit at all (I had to throw out 3/4 of my underwear draw as my size 20 knickers do NOT fit... at all)
I'm more generally relaxed about what I am doing, 12wbt isn't feeling like a diet, just what I'm doing.
People ask me how much I've lost and I say about 15kg since Christmas. It's not a lie and it's much more liberating than spouting out the exact number.
Now I tend to say I've dropped 3 dress sizes rather than the 'number'

Con's of not weighing in...
Lack of accountability, though I track and weigh that number can indicate if you are doing the right thing for your body. I tend to be super clean and organized Sun, Mon, Tues.... lax Wednesday and Thursday (normally the treat meal happens here) and Fri and Sat I follow the plans but tend to not be as serious as the rest of the week. During the no weigh times I found myself running a fairly lax program from Wednesday til Monday.
Strangely I became very obsessed with the calorie burn from exercise and getting the most bang for my buck out of training sessions. I think this was a bi-product of being lax on the program more than a lack of weighing in but as it only happened now I'll call it as a weighing in thing.
Not knowing whats happening with the scales made me feel a little dead in the water in regards to what was working for my body. I find that if I smash out too much cardio my loss tends to stall a little, or If I overdo the sugar without the scale to dictate meant those habits went unchecked. I know I have eaten ALOT more sugar than normal over this past month and have not corrected it. As anal as it sounds I do look at my week on MFP and try and spot the trends that can effect why I've had a big loss or a non loss that week.

So in closing, it had been an interesting exercise, though one I should have held off for between rounds on when I was feeling a little more confident with the program, bad habits have re-surfaced but stress has been alleviated. Tomorrow will tell if it has been a success or not!