Christmas Fallout

Tomorrow I will weigh in,

I will own the damage my lax weeks have caused.

Today I tracked on MFP for the first time in weeks and drank over Glasses of water.

I was defeated by the 1000 steps, but I will be back to conquer you soon, minus the nausea and light-headed episode...

This was my dinner..... For over 400 cal per serve I am reminded why I don't 'do' pre-packaged foods.

But it was Tasty as!

I am reminded why I need to be the best me. Christmas is a time for indulgence, family and festivities 

And I want plenty more with my beautiful family.

Today was the day I got up and started again, and I am proud :) 

Round 1....

So today this happened...

My email dinged and surly enough there is Mish staring at me from the screen.
It's safe to say that this 'going it alone' has been a fairly epic fail
I can make all the excuses in the world but obviously I still need the program, so today I've signed up for round 1.
It's a hard time of year, I get that,
But I deserve this, I deserve to be the healthiest version of myself
So with the silly season well in throw, I'm going to allow myself to enduldge, I have a dinner and movie date with the girls tonight ;)
I will use my brain on Christmas day and not be ashamed of what I eat but be in tune with what I feel and be joyful.
On my days of rest I will follow the previously printed MB plans
I will be healthy, I may have met my goals for this year... but I am still obese so still have work to do.

I will be doing C25K in the preseason... if it's going well then I will be doing the 10k program.
I'm not a runner, but I will be soon.

Merry Christmas,

Also I apologize for not reading blogs,
I'll be checking in with you all daily from now on xoxo

And she is back again....

I was so unaware it had been so long, it honestly only felt like a week had passed from my last post. 

Master 4 in his mummy made elephant get-up

Miss Almost 2 is pretty evil, lucky she's cute too

So I suppose it's that age old habit of when you are doing the wrong thing you hide away. That's actually not true, I have been 'thinking about what I'm doing' but in saying that only doing the minimum to get it done. I've not been tracking, my exercise has dropped to around 2-3 times a week and work has been so intense that I have been in the dark place eating ice-cream and not allowing myself to look outside the box. 

This morning I had a bittersweet moment, It's the 26th of October, the day of my sisters 30th and the day before Miss1 turns 2. After getting up the wrong side of the bed and really half-assing my gym session it dawned on me,

Today is the day I was supposed to be doing the 10k stampede :(

Due to money issues I was never able to register, I continued to train but my running has been very lackluster, when crunch time came, I chose birthday presents over the stampede. Add in that I've recently started seeing a chiropractor to rectify my favor to the right side and I have had days where I'm also hurting in new and exciting ways. Also more money :(

I've been looking outside and the weather is perfect, I was so worried that It would be stinking hot, but it's cool with a light drizzle that comes and goes... Bummer.

So today can go one of two ways, I can wallow in poor me's or I can use it to get back up and go.

Guess which one I've chosen?

No more floating in the middle, I've been busily printing up meal plan's and organizing my 12wbt recipe files on the computer. Obviously next round will be a going it alone round but I'm putting away money to pay for round 1 next year. I will follow the meals plans of the past two rounds and get my nutrition back on track, When pre-season starts I will be signing up that day and throwing myself into the pre-season to smash it out. 

Exercise wise will be interesting for the next few months as I have completed my training and will be starting up as an Intimo consultant on the 1st of November. My primary workout time has been evenings so my organizational skills will need to be perfect to get the exercise in. I can do it, even though it seems hard at the moment before i know it I'll be in a new routine and it will kick ass. 

Exciting times ahead for me! 

Intimo will help me support my family without needing more childcare and at the moment that is what needed to happen. We have been living month to month for the past year and although we can make it work, it truly is the most stressful and depressing time I've ever had. We have had lots of invites to events and outings that we simply cannot afford and I've had enough, my kids deserve, swimming lessons, birthday parties and special trips to places which for the past year have not been able to happen. Although it is a little scary I'm confident that the choice will pay off.

I've finally decided that Master 4 will be doing another year of kinder as he is just too young to send off to school, I sent him for another transition day and he was in a class with children primarily 2 years older than him, how can I expect him to enjoy the experience if he's all ready on the back foot being so much younger than the peers I'm placing him with? 

So I feel better for making that choice, however with it has come the realization that we are in for another 12 months of a tight budget, but now I have a plan so I'm confident we can make it work. I also finally got approved for my transfer which should happen mid-way through November. 

Exciting times ahead! 

Size 12 normal, non 'large fit' happy day's 

Also a few little fistpumps to finish,

I remain below 80kg even though I've not been devout to the program,

I'm comfortably a size 12 top, give me a few weeks (or a few more kg) and I will also be a size 14 bottom which were my goals for Christmas this year.

I've made an appointment for hypnotherapy

I've also made an appointment to get my strength workouts formalized.

Things are looking up and although it's been a dark time, it doesn't have to stay this way.

The only place I have to go is up while the scales keep moving down 

xoxox

Old Enemies Return

I've been in a strange kind of limbo these past few days.
I needed to make a formal complaint at work about some practice that I was unable to resolve on the floor which has really got me down. I pride myself in my ability to talk people around but it turns out that i have exhausted all of my options and the only one left was to push it up. In nursing when you have to do that it makes you feel like crap, these are your workmates and peers that your talking about which makes for some frosty times when working. It's got me down to say the least and as a result my elation at hitting my under 80 goal has been short lived.
On a positive note, I've been exercising daily, even managed the 1000 steps yesterday afternoon with my sister and her man in tow. I'm not sure if I've moaned about my sister before, she's one of 'those' people, you know the ones that eat garbage, do nothing and always look fantastic... yep... that's my sister. However as much as I talk the talk it honestly doesn't shit me as much as it used to, I think about this journey that I'm on and I realized that she never would be able to do this she is too shy and too much of a stress head.... plus she's doing her honors year for law. Don't envy her one bit!

I found earlier in the week I was half assing workouts, I'm not really sure why Wednesday I had a killer headache and did RPM regardless which in hindsight was a mistake. Also half assed zumba and a few gym sessions, I'm putting it down to stress from work but on closer examination...

I AM A SUGAR ADDICT

When did that happen?, somehow during my 4 weeks of non weighing huge amounts of sugar have wiggled back into my diet. A sneaky chocolate here, ice cream, coke, raspberry licorice, lollies.....
Every single day....
On looking at Tuesday, I think my headache was due to sugar withdrawal

How scary that it can happen so fast and I didn't even notice until I went back over MFP, I've always been an advocate of eat the things you love but really, I've be going at it like old times.... On Thursday I skipped lunch to eat a pack of oreo's
*face palm*
Also noticed my sleeping has been going to hell with the increase... last night I was up until 2am because I decided to have a mini binge at 9pm.... it was within my calories so it was ok...
*beats head against wall*

News Flash Michelle.... IT IS NOT OK!!!!
You cannot live the same way as you did or you will look the same way!
and feel the same way,
and act the same way.....
I deserve more than that!

In other news I DID NOT want to go to gym this morning,
I sooked and stamped my feet and attempted to hide and 'forget' about the time.
I snapped at my kids and D, I text my gym buddy, I even sooked about it on facebook
I ran out of excuses and I went anyway...
Now I love that I went and am feeling 120% better
and I didn't half ass my workout....

Looks like whatever brain fart had me out of action is on the mend and I'm planning to smash the rest of this week.
Bring it on,
I am ready for you!

Woohoo!

Objective archived, those are numbers below 80kg

And I couldn't be happier, 

I remember doing this before, losing and gaining the same kilo for weeks on end,

and it completely did my head in! 

No head games to report, no stress over the number and no guilt (or pride) about what went in my mouth.

I'm so pleased at the outcome even though my total loss for this round is 2.5kg (not the most impressive)

Still have 5 weeks to go and I'm so enthused to keep kicking it, maybe I can be under 75 for NYE? Almost double and a half my original goal! 

Thanks a billon for the support all here on Instagram and Facebook, couldn't have done it without you xoxo 

The day before weigh in

It's been an interesting experiment this past month, I've been so busy that I've neglected to blog as much as I would have liked. I'm attempting to get onto it today as I wan't to review and keep an open mind on the past month regardless of tomorrows result (or lack there of)

Pro's of one month not weighing in,
Stress about the number has been eliminated, harder at the start but now it's not there at all. I weigh what I weigh and the scale doesn't dictate if it's a good or bad day.
The emotional reaction has been removed, I'm not 'celebrating' or 'punishing' myself with food and exercise which I have done in the past depending on what the scale says.
More observant of non-scale victories, clothing is getting looser, some things don't fit at all (I had to throw out 3/4 of my underwear draw as my size 20 knickers do NOT fit... at all)
I'm more generally relaxed about what I am doing, 12wbt isn't feeling like a diet, just what I'm doing.
People ask me how much I've lost and I say about 15kg since Christmas. It's not a lie and it's much more liberating than spouting out the exact number.
Now I tend to say I've dropped 3 dress sizes rather than the 'number'

Con's of not weighing in...
Lack of accountability, though I track and weigh that number can indicate if you are doing the right thing for your body. I tend to be super clean and organized Sun, Mon, Tues.... lax Wednesday and Thursday (normally the treat meal happens here) and Fri and Sat I follow the plans but tend to not be as serious as the rest of the week. During the no weigh times I found myself running a fairly lax program from Wednesday til Monday.
Strangely I became very obsessed with the calorie burn from exercise and getting the most bang for my buck out of training sessions. I think this was a bi-product of being lax on the program more than a lack of weighing in but as it only happened now I'll call it as a weighing in thing.
Not knowing whats happening with the scales made me feel a little dead in the water in regards to what was working for my body. I find that if I smash out too much cardio my loss tends to stall a little, or If I overdo the sugar without the scale to dictate meant those habits went unchecked. I know I have eaten ALOT more sugar than normal over this past month and have not corrected it. As anal as it sounds I do look at my week on MFP and try and spot the trends that can effect why I've had a big loss or a non loss that week.

So in closing, it had been an interesting exercise, though one I should have held off for between rounds on when I was feeling a little more confident with the program, bad habits have re-surfaced but stress has been alleviated. Tomorrow will tell if it has been a success or not!

Fistpump Friday

Been an up and down day,

In and out and running around like a mad woman.

Eating has been good, Dave is out for dinner so I ended up having french toast for dinner instead of leftover stir-fry as planned.

Winner especially for me who passionately hates stir fries 

Speech Path has recommended Master 4 start school next year (cue mummy losing her marbles!)

Every day I wake up with a new theory about what's better for my son next year, I was back on the second year at kinder bandwagon but now my brain is well stuffed

Miss 1 has had an ear infection and burst ear drum therefore miserable! poor love...

No drinks for me at all this week, even tonight when I'm home alone!

Got new tights and a singlet from Running Bare...
Singlet is too big...

Attempting to decide if I send the singlet back or attempt to alter it,
I'm now leaning towards sending it back

D has been going great guns and is dropping weight like no-ones business, he's dropped another pants size and is now SERIOUSLY desperate for new clothes.

MFP is my bestie again, I'm back on the tracking bandwagon.

Though in an effort to punish me my HRM clonked out during RMP which I was shattered about

While in the mode of trying stuff on, had a go at my Game of Thrones singlet...

And it fits....

                                                                     Hell's Yes!

Sunday Night

So It's been a full on weekend, work has been insane but it certainly keeps me occupied, also gets me laughing at times when  didn't really feel like it. I'll spare you the nurse humor however I will tell a little story,
When I had Master 4 he spent from 2 months old till 7 months old at work with me, now let me tell you if you think animals are good for dementia care, you should see what happens with babies!
I was working twice a week and he would come, and spend his day at activity groups either on the floor or in his pram. I would see him for bottles and bum changes... after a while I didn't even see him for those as the other staff (and residents) would share him around and do whatever it took for a snuggle.
To this day, residents, family members and staff constantly ask how he is and ask for photo's which of course I'm happy to provide, and most are completely shocked that he may be heading off to school next year but it makes for a very nice family feel at work.
Also the comments are coming thick and fast about my weight loss, everyone seems to have noticed and it's really great for my moral!
Doesn't change the fact that I'm pretty wreaked from my 2 days shifts with tomorrow night looming on the horizon. On the way to work I have been fantasizing about running...
Car pulling out of driveway at 6am... by 10 past I'm thinking 'it's light enough, I can run in this.... gives me and hour and a half before D leaves for work.... wonder how far I could run in an hour'

WHO IS THIS PERSON?

So I made a decision on Wednesday that because of my issue with the scales, I wont be weighing in again until the 25th of September....
So far so good, I'm feeling really positive and focusing on my eating and getting back into routine with exercise, tomorrow I'm going to do strength at the gym.... then run Tuesday morning...

Wednesday I'm trying crossfit....

I know I don't really believe it either!

We have had some winner meals this week, tonight we had 'Brinner' or Breakfast for dinner.... (that's what I get for letting D choose)
Pancakes, with scrambled eggs, chorizo and spinach and it was delish!

Feeling strong and confident that I can smash this... can I hold it together for 24 days without the scales to keep me on track? I'm hoping that it's the kick I need to finally let go of what they say and just work towards being a healthier and fitter version of me.

Week 1 in review

Week one has ended well, After a rocky start we appear to be back on track. Finally able to organize myself and triumph over Saturday, Sunday and Monday which is normally when it all falls into a hole.

So how did I go with my goals this week?

Keep to calories, no sneaky treats and no additional extra's - I feel that I have done well with this challenge, I did go over calories but after being so tired and run down at the end of last round I decided that I would be eating back a quarter of my exercise calories if I was hungry, which I was on occasion. I did go over on a few days but all were 1000+ calorie days, my highest consumption day was Tuesday, sitting just over 1500, I think this was the day my appetite came back on with a vengeance as my meals were good but I ate lots of snacks. Between gym and the fitbit my total burn was 1231 for the day so I'm not to worried about it.
I know this isn't a popular practice with 12wbt but I was finding myself needing to nap with my daughter daily which clearly isn't viable long term. If it slows down my weight loss I'll wear it as for me personally I need to function and taking a 2 hour nap every day because I was constantly exhausted really isn't an option long term.

Run at least once, and time a 5k so I have something to work at improving - Done, Friday afternoon when I was trying to race the weather. Scary stuff but I'm pretty chuffed with my time :)

At least 2 days of exercise as per Mish's plans - I did 4 days as per her plans, Two toning days at gym, Outdoors program for Friday, and the SSS. Pretty happy, I'll continue to try for at least 3 of Mish's workouts per week!

I will focus on drinking water, no less than 8 cups - All but two days I drank over 9 cups of water.... Winning!

Sticking to the meal plans was at around 70%, lots of swapping about but ate good clean meals most of the time. I'm attempting to focus on improving my snacks as I tend to get carried away and eat the wrong things. Still pre-cooked for the weekend and Monday but unfortunately the kids have been less than enthusiastic about getting back into the meals. I'm hoping that will change with tonight's Korean style omelette, I'm really looking forward to it and I'm thinking the kids will like too. Fingers crossed!

Round 3... ready... set... go!

So today marks the first day of round 3,

I am starting off a little on the back foot this time as my entire house has been in the throws of a lovely gastro bug that has put a real dampener on starting this round. The idea of having anything to do with dairy today was enough to send me straight back to bed so I'm all ready off the rails! eekkkk :(

If I remember correctly this happened at about the 2-3 week mark of the last round and I survived, so I'm sure it will be fine, I did entertain the idea of going for a run or doing a DVD today but after about 2 minutes of 30 day shred I found my stomach in knots so guessing exercise is off the planner for me today
.

I though I would take this self imposed rest day to actually set some proper goals, last round I had some fairly airy fairy goals... I will lose weight, I will run without stopping etc etc...

Given I have the time, I'm taking the opportunity right now to set some real goals, even if they aren't exactly to 12wbt structure,
so here goes,

Week 1:
Keep to calories, no sneaky treats and no additional extra's
Run at least once, and time a 5k so I have something to work at improving
At least 2 days of exercise as per Mish's plans. Last round I was all about the classes and making it up as I went along this round I will do as I'm told, she is the expert, not me!
I will focus on drinking water, no less than 8 cups, aim for 10-12 :)

Week 2:
Fire Trail or 1000 steps, once again timed event so I can go back and do it again and improve
Any excuses, wagged workouts, slip up's in eating are to be blogged as confessionals, no more hiding behind quick added calories on MFP.
Master 4 will see the speech path this week do NOT eat your feelings!
Exercise every day

Week 3:
Have the cleanest of clean weeks,
Go to the doctor about the hypnotherapy referral (I am a smoker, and have finally decided to take the plunge, I was given the number for a tried and tested therapist and am keen to give it a go)
Water/ water/ water 12 cups a day... minimum

Week 4:
Change it up, do something different every day to 'normal' extra weights and swimming? Try a new class, figure it out and smash it.
Refocus of food goals (it was around week 5 in round 2 when I started to slack in the meal planning department)

Week 5:
Run 5k, smash that time
Run 10k just to prove that you can
Refocus on mealtimes, eat at the table, together with the family as much as possible

Week 6: 
Re-do Fire Trail or 1000 steps, make it better than before
Will have lost 5kg by this point

Week 7:
Have you been doing core days? Really?
Time to start looking at Pilates/ yoga classes

Week 8:
Decision time, do I keep my gym membership or not? Short term membership will expire at the beginning of November, get on it!

Week 9:
Food and meal planning re-focus, reflect on what's been going on
Re-run 5k (without stopping)
Run 10k,
Book in for Sydney finale,

Week 10:
Change it up, different exercises this week
Run 10k at least twice this week.

Week 11:
October 26 - Melbourne Stampede, I have procrastinated the hell out of this. Once I get my tax I will register and I will do it. 10k... with obstacles, on my hands and knees if I must.

Week 12:
Keep it clean,
Will have lost 10kg!
Reflect celebrate and enjoy

Also I have decided to reward myself for staying on track! 
Under 80kg - New tea pot and assorted black tea's
5kg lost - full body massage and facial
Under 75 - Book in for pamper session at finale
10kg lost - Surprise.... not sure what bit it'll be good maybe an expensive dress for finale???

Recap Round 2

Unfortunately I have been unable to do my time trial so my official ending time for 12wbt remains at 6 minutes. With round 3 set to kick off Monday week I will get it done again before then as a baseline.

I am slightly disappointed with my overall kg loss over the round, I was expecting to smash 10kg to the curb and dance triumphantly at the scales moving below 80 before the rounds completion but alas it wasn't to be. I've done so thinking and some grumbling and come up with this,
It was my first round, my learning round where I got used to meal plans and time management and pre-cooking, second guessing and dealing with family and staying in control (even if it was damage control)
My second round will be the results round.
I have learnt so much this round about portion sizes and feeling satisfied, also about what has become habit and what is part of real life. If I could switch the light in my head to on or off this would be easy but alas it isn't so. I still need to live and enjoy life and sometimes that means scones with jam, pasta and takeaway latte's and sometimes fit into my day, other times not that's why they are for SOMETIMES....
I will also commit to the exercise plan this round. Last round I did exercise doing classes, occasional strength, almost no flexibility 9/12 SSS's were completed so it wasn't a total loss, Round 3 however I will pick a program and smash it and follow the actual guide instead of just burning 500 calories a day. I needed to do it that way last round to get into the swing of meal planning, I honestly believe that if I had attempted to do both the whole 12wbt would have landed in the too hard basket.

D and I decided on Sunday night we would have takeaway to celebrate the end of round 2.... after scouring menu's, old fav's and places we used to frequent.

Taco Bill? Cheesy laden burrito or nacho's (we can make better, tasty and lower calories) Menu discarded
Indian? Lot's of cream, lots of fat.... can we get garlic naan and make our own curry.... Menu discarded
Fish and Chips.... no discussion, menu discarded
Pizza?... tempting, thin base and extra veg.... delivery time.... 1 hour.... too hard
McD's, KFC, Red rooster... pfft

All to hard, So we had omelettes,

Pre 12wbt we would not have even contemplated not getting take-away, we would have driven to KFC as a last resort, eaten too much, felt crap and unsatisfied but done it all over again when we couldn't be bothered. Previously as soon as we decided to take away that was it, if only our devotion to a planned meal ran so deep.
Surprisingly after 12 weeks, this appears to have changed, and I'm quietly impressed by it.
As a family unit our attitude towards food and eating has improved 100 fold, I still allow the kids treat meals and occasional foods. As a whole they are eating a bigger variety and are far more involved in preparation and planning. I'm hoping that this round will continue that trend.
Master 4 is still fussy and now that Miss 1 is starting to notice a whole new set of issues may be about to unfold.
It's all good though, I have the tools and the motivation to be a better role model and lead by example.
I also hope to wave the obese category behind this round.
Maybe even start buying clothes from the rack,
Build some muscle and be a kick ass mum.
Watch this space, change is still happening

Blessed

The most incredible thing happened last night,

Buffalo wings, I love them so much and cannot resist them on a menu

My inlaws paid for round 3 of 12wbt, D and I had made our peace with the fact we wouldn't be able to afford the next round. I was said and a little scared but had busily been saving recipes and building meal plans and really getting revved up about going it alone.
My inner devil was laughing away with the inner dialogue about not having the self control, and I was terrified about it having D home from work for one week has led to a huge amount of overindulgence and 'treat mentality'
2 trips to the cinema's,
4 meals out (all which involved chips and/or dessert)
Pizza and beer infront of the TV
slacking with meals and falling back into old habits...

My goal this week is to tighten my game back up and finish with a bang, my 10kg goal for the round is not going to happen, but rather than sulk, I'll make these last two weeks count.

Cupcake quiches, delish! 

Then my second round,
My inlaws are engaged and interested in our health and have commented on how much better we are eating, and the positive role modelling on the kids. I'd had discussions with MIL about how good the meal planning was and how it made it so easy to know what was coming up next as well as the time saving element of shopping lists. She is a big one for organization so was impressed by this element.
She stated how the kids horizons have expanded, though Master 4 is still picky he is MUCH better than before... and miss 1, well she will give anything a red hot go really.
I was starting to get concerned that they hadn't commented or noticed any weight loss as everyone else around us was full of positive words. Turns out they view it on a different level, to them we are not losing weight we are getting healthy which is so much more important to them than a number on the scales. My FIL has terminal cancer and after years of sideways remarks I've come to realize they want us to be well and that's what's important, not just weight loss, or stopping drinking and smoking.
They can see this program is working for us, so they want us to keep at it.

I am truly blessed by caring and loving people around me.

So tomorrow is weigh in, and I forsee another gain, but that's ok Yesterday was a good day, today will be a good day. If I can be good until end of round then maybe... just maybe...

I can have pizza and beer as a treat!

Miss 1 vs Mexican Pie, hands down winner in the household

Gain

Today started off in a bad way, The alarm sounded at 5:15...

I wanted to hit snooze and bail on the gym, but I didn't I got up and went

Hindsight however has shown me that perhaps sleeping would have been better for me as I only half assed my combat class. Strange for me as I normally start slow but get into it but this morning I never got that second wind.

I'm also really angry at my partner in crime as she was supposed to come, but 'the alarm didn't go off'

*grumble*

D is on holidays this week, so I have the opportunity to go to gym whenever I felt like it... I was doing the 6am class to help my friend out as her partner is working lates this week. 

She feels bad, so now I feel bad for being pissed off about it. 

To add insult to injury when I got on the scales it showed a gain.... 

My inner teenager reared it's ugly head and started the 'it's not working why are you bothering dialogue' Which also didn't help the enthusiasm levels for gym.

I started the excuse train... it's because I'm still holding booze weight from Pink, I'm still holding popcorn from out movie trip on Monday, I haven't drunk enough water... blah blah blah.... 

I've been exercising my heart out, walking heaps done 5 classes in 3 days to try and make up for my sins yet that damn scale still didn't show me what I wanted to see.

*glares at scale* 

My brain was in overdrive, attempting to justify my gain, work out what went wrong.

All other days except Sat I was well within calories, I'd been exercising regularly. Whoever wrote that saying that one meal doesn't ruin a week I want to see you so i can kick you in the shin's... I had one day where I ate carbonara, drank vodka and danced the night away... I even drank sugar free mixers...

Totaling 1755 calories for the day (including booze) 

My net calories are still WAY under for the week....

Mathematics's say I should have lost... did the scale miss the memo... or did I stuff up in a colossal way and not realize. 

Screw you scales,

Screw you maths,

*rage*

Then I took Master 4 to kinder,

In my rush to get ready I left the house in leggings and ugg boot's (I know I'm all bogan class today) 

Was met with wolf whistles and MANY comments on where my ass has gone and how good I'm looking from the other mum's. I was asked about the program, how it was all going and if I liked it. One was asking about the kids and how they like it as she has kids of varying ages and would like to give it a shot.

One comment really stood out, 'It's not even the weight loss, you look so much healthier and happy within yourself" 

This on a day where my inner dialogue was so negative and I'd had a gain.

All of a sudden the voices shut up,

I have achieved so much doing this program and one week and one bad result shouldn't stop me from feeling proud for everything I've done so far. My journey is still in it's infancy but it's really so nice when the rest of the world starts to notice.

10am, maybe my 'bad day' isn't so bad after all.  

Feeling brave

I saw this idea on a Facebook group and thought I'd get in on the action,

It's been a long week for me this week but I'm still standing and ready to finish up with a bang! 

Weigh in Wednesday

Today I broke the the 4 week standoff that has been occurring with my scales and finally dropped below 85kg. I am most excited as 85kg was my pre-12wbt September goal with the long term goal of being under 80 by NYE this year.

I'm thinking it may be time to reassess that goal!

My internet was very rudely slowed to a snails pace due to master 4's habit of streaming ABC of the ipad then leaving it unattended only to start the stream again... the cheeky bugger has now worked out to install the app from the app store so deleting it is no longer a solution. Needless to say said technology has taken up residence in the shelf about the stove.

I am trying to think of ways to change up my exercise routines a little so have been swimming with the kids twice last week, I am thinking of having a go at an aqua aerobics class, just for something different. Did cycle at gym on Monday morning instead of running also my circuit class also recommenced last week and my SSS was a smash. Have a masterclass Saturday night so hoping that will take care of my SSS this week. Supposed to be at gym tonight for attack but my partner in crime had her wisdom's out so isn't sure if she can or not. I'm trying to think of something different to try but have yet to be struck by inspiration.
Master 4 and I had some post swimming ice cream yesterday but it was so worth it. I've found this week I've been around 80% complaint with the program, though on average am consuming around 1300 cal a day rather than the recommended 1200. For the moment it's working so I'll go with it as I think my head for some bizarre reason seems to think 1300 is a much more reasonable amount.... not sure on the origin of that logic but it is what it is.

Half way point of 12wbt, part of me can't believe i'm still going strong. The other part is furious I didn't sign up sooner!

Tally up

I realised this morning it had been a while since I have reported in on my kids and the overall success of the 12wbt vs my cherubs...

We had a great success with the chicken and leek pies both kids devoured them even my daughter who's serve seemed monstrous cleaned her plate.

                           

Both have been having a love affair with wraps much to my delight and have been happily consuming them with gusto. Master 4 has started requesting 'rats' for his kinder lunchbox.

We have swapped in the 'bacon and egg roll a few times and both kids happily consumed half each. 

Due to my non-consistent weeks I confess a lot of meals were made for the adults while the kids were prepared their own dishes... 

Chances that was adding to my stress level very likely! 

Miss 1 and I have has the couscous breakfast a few times now and Master 4 had it for afternoon tea yesterday. I was very skeptical about it but so glad I took the plunge and tried it!

Delish! 

The other hands down winner has been the beef tangine, the whole family LOVED it. I did it in the slow cooker and was Starving by 5pm... Smelt and tasted Devine.

New Tally

12wbt: 20 kids: 3

(No meals have been refused by both kids in the past week)

*happy dance* 

Week 4 Weigh in Wednesday

Today I lost 200g

For some reason my mind continues to flutter back to a forum post that I have been stalking, that asks How committed are you?
I feel 100% committed, like I paid for this thing so now I WILL complete it... Grrr! I Track everything and I stress over meals and shopping lists, even on non pay week which makes it even harder. I feel that my commitment has not waned or devotion to the program.
However, If I am honest this week I've not been following the meal plan... well I have been eating the meals but not as the plan sets out. We swap days around or a dinner from Monday and a lunch from Thursday and my snacks are really not great.
I keep within calories most day but when my snacks are made up of 4 ginger nut snaps and flake all eaten after 10pm surely isn't the plan that MB had in mind. I think I need to go back to basic's and not play with the meal plan, surely the meals are in that order for a reason.
My exercise has been haphazard at best,  A few days of using my fitbit burn and wagging workouts but that's life for me, sometimes an addition 4 hours per day would be ideal. When I do work out, I smash it for everything I've got.

So although my compliance level with the plan could be rated at around 50% this last week, I feel my commitment to the program is still very strong.


                 Last weeks winner, fried rice... everyone ate this! 

My goals for this week,
1) Improve my snacks, go through the suggestions and actually prepare some wholesome and filling things not just treats and coffee.
2) I will complete all of my exercise this week, no excuses
3) I will stick to the meal plan, no more swapping, or if I do need to shuffle I'll move whole days rather than meals.

These past 4 weeks have been a journey for me, but not a negative one, I don't feel deprived, my hunger is sated and  I love not having to come up with meal idea's on my own. My partner and kids have adapted and are supportive and helpful with keeping me on track most of the time.
I am wearing my size 16 jeans and they aren't even tight, they fit well and I love myself sick in them.
My stamina has improved 10 fold on what it was before the program started, I now jump, run and sweat buckets when doing zumba and les mills classes, where before I ALWAYS took the low options, now I only take them if I need too.
My love affair with my teapot and assorted herbal blends knows no bounds and if I anyone had told me that I would be drinking tea over coffee 5 weeks ago I would have laughed in their faces.
I can overcome obstacles, say no to treats and still function when i'm sick, or my kids are sick.
I am almost ready to quit smoking, to the point where money is tight enough that I'm willing to give them up for a gym membership.... (who is this person?)

So I'll take my 200g loss, it might not be impressive and it may reflect a week of poor choices but they were mine to make and I don't regret them. A loss is still a loss and overall 4kg in 4 weeks is nothing to be laughed at.

Alas Miss 1 is very unwell so the past 2 days have meant lots of cuddles and thinking up new and exciting ways to coax her into eating and taking medicine. Master 4 is taking it in his stride and being a very loving a supportive big brother. Yesterday after realizing that I'd eaten nothing at 2pm and scoffed down a ham and cheese toastie I did feel guilty but I also knew it was the best  I could do. Being mummy comes first and sometimes despite our best intentions life does come to a halt and we just do the best we can. It's not always pretty but it's life. Damage control mode is better than out of control and the fact I still have half a block of lidnt chocolate in the pantry means things are changing.

Changes aren't always bad and scary, so even though I'm tired and a little hungry from not eating breakfast until 1030 I feel that I've stepped into a brand new world, and I like the way it looks.

SSS = fail

I sat down today to write and confess my sin's of the day however when I look at the big picture it's really not so bad.

I did not complete my planned SSS today, I had my alarm set for 5:45am and awoke to the sound of pouring rain. I text my exercise partner who was in agreeance that our well laid plans to conquer the 1000 steps at 7am were a bust. SO I rolled over, I went back to sleep.
My darling D got up to the kids resulting in a mummy sleep in until 9am....
All good you say, I NEVER get to sleep in... I flew out of bed kissed my kids and went through the what now possibilities in my head... 9:15 zumba, wouldn't make it in time.... 9:30 body attack at gym.... It was a go...
I flew from bed and pulled my workout gear on, ran around like a mad woman attempting to locate my runners which as it turns out had been artfully hidden in the drier by Miss 1... by this stage it was all ready 9:30.... I stood at the door keys in hand and glanced at the clock...
9:35... *insert expletive here*

Master 4 then had a meltdown... 'Mummy I don't want you to go, just stay home and play with me' complete with tears and a vice like grip on my legs. I asked if he wanted to do a DVD with me .....
No... more tears
I asked if he wanted to play the wii?
On ground fists hitting the floorboards.... 'NOOOOOOO!'

So I stayed, we sat on the couch snuggling under his doona watching How to Train your dragon for the millionth time. I made popcorn and we sat, we laughed and we snuggled. Not what I had in mind but to be honest given how busy we've been lately and how little mummy time he has had recently It was a sacrifice I was willing to go with.

I thought about running, but it was still pouring rain.... so I abandoned all hope of an SSS workout today.

At midday we were in a mad rush to go and visit some friends who had finally been discharged from hospital after suffering burns courtesy of a pressure cooker. Kids packed into car with minimal fuss, bag packed, and we were on the road....
"mummy I'm hungry" came the familiar call from the back seat.... and it dawned on me, in all of our organizational glory we had neglected to feed the kids lunch, we were early so we stopped at McD's...

No-one gets a prize for guessing what happens next!

Fast forward to this evening, making dinner, making lunch for work tomorrow.... a return trip to the supermarket after we neglected to pick up a bacon hock on the first trip thus making my slow cooker soup not happening tomorrow....

*headslap*

Now for the positives,
I spent quality fun mummy and son time with Master 4, which was long neglected
I calorie counted all the badness consumed at lunch, that once entered wasn't 'that bad'
I said no to Tim tams, chocolate cake, and muffins when out at our friends and still had a lovely time
Instead of putting everything in the too hard basket all my prep for the next 2 days of working madness has been completed despite being tempted to wag it.
I drank all my water
My calories are over but not by 1000, only by 200.... given the circumstances that was a fair achievement.
My kids went to bed happy and tired.
Instead of eating the block of chocolate we have in the pantry... I ate one peice.... and tracked it!

My normal mentality of I've stuffed it now I can eat whatever I want reared its ugly head and I didn't succumb to it's seductive melody.... instead I made a cup of tea... and sat down to write...

Not such a bad day after all.

Week 3 already!

I can't believe that yesterday was the beginning of week 3,
I feel like I blinked and missed it.
One thing I must say is that my illness REALLY knocked me on my ass last week. after a few walks to and from kinder and very short bursts on the wii I felt as though I wasn't really getting anywhere, It also highlighted that I was a lot less organized that I believed I was.
On Sunday my appetite returned with a vengeance that knew no bounds and my body was screaming for sweet comfort foods and seemed that nothing was enough to satisfy. Lot's of air popped popcorn was consumed and a very early night was had.

This week I have been focusing my efforts on organization.
I have been freezer stocking meals, so I have portions of butter chicken all ready in, with dahl and chicken and quinoa soup container-ed but not in as yet.


                         OMG best meal EVER!

Last week's Winner recipe was the fish stew.
OMG Amazing.... plus my daughter ate it... I was shocked but she loved it


Current Tally
(though it's slightly out of whack due to being sick and succumbing to the 'easy' meals excuse)

12wbt: 12 ~~~~ Kids: 3 

I am most looking forwards to zumba this evening feels like forever since I've sweat it out.
Fingers crossed for a loss tomorrow, even though I don't really deserve one!

Today Miss 1 and I enjoyed the dahl for lunch I cheated with the recipe a little by making it 3 portions and having some delicious garlic Afgan bread... SO worth it, and I'm most happy to take the calories for a 350 lunch and have a lighter snack!

Somebody call the WAAmbulance I have a cold

So the inevitable has occurred  yesterday that tell tale tickle in the back of my nose and increased pressure in my sinus has evolved today into a full blown head cold.
That's right, I am officially sick!

Say it with me "BOOOOOOO"

Yesterday I slammed it out at body combat hoping to rid myself of the germs, I've tried this in the past but 'sweating it out' tends to do me no good. Alas once again it did not work though I have aching shoulders and chest to show for my efforts.
After my alarm sounded, along with Master 4's insistence that it's morning and Miss 1 making music by kicking the wall through the bars of her cot and singing what sounded like twinkle twinkle in scribble. I dragged myself from bed and was instantly in an awful mood. Showered in an attempt to clear my sinus and switched into daytime mode.

After loading master 4 off to kinder and getting home Miss 1 and I had some very tasty porridge for breakfast, After reading heaps of comments about how much of it there was I halved the recipe for the two of us.
As it turns out, Miss 1 ate more than I expected, and after devouring hers eyed what remained in my bowl expectantly until I handed it over. It was delicious, warm, gooey, and everything I wanted it to be. I also found it to be sweet enough but added a touch of honey to Miss 1's serve

I had planned to do my normal double Zumba tonight but being out in the near arctic temperatures that we are blessed with once the sun goes down may not help the situation. Also the fact I'm sore and sorry from yesterday may not bode well for my already struggling body. Instead I will do a DVD/video from the website. Undecided on which one as yet but I'm leaning towards stretching :)

On the plus side my appetite is almost non-existent so regardless of how today plays out, keeping to calories shouldn't be an issue.

Now for a pot of herbal tea and some quiet while Miss 1 naps, maybe I'll sneak in a kip of my own.