Shopping Adventures

Monday this week was the last day of my leave from work so in true form decided to live it up and go shopping. Due to being a lot on the poor side that meant op-shop crawl in the 4 hours while kids were at child care. Now I have refrained from buying anything under an 18 for the past 6 years, every so often I'd take a chance on a stray XL but vary rarely, most of my wardrobe is from kmart or millers.
I've recently been utilizing Facebook buy swap and sell groups for bargains and have hit onto a few winners as my weight has been coming off, I've stuck to familiar brands and done well most of the time. Now I am in a whole new world, my size 16 jeans are starting to go a little loose... my size 16 tops looking like hessian sacks.
So in my excitement I went on he hunt for size 14 tops, jeans and shoes.....

Total Tally $21.95
3 short sleeved casual tops
2 long sleeved tops for wearing with leggings
1 size 14 workout jacket,
1 size 14 jeans....

Now when I got home and looked a little closer.... I noticed the tag
Tummy trimmer... high rise (that's good right no muffin top?)
Slim..... (shit I have rounded thighs, I hold my weight in my thighs and my belly...)

As you can imagine, they did not fit
Was I disappointed? Admittedly a little but not like the old me who would have eaten to feel better, I went to the gym and smashed out a session instead, then put the jeans onto the top shelf of my wardrobe.... to forget about them...
But they kept calling my name... making me glace at them every time I went in
Michelle... try me on... I might fit... you never know... maybe you didn't pull them up far enough?

Today, after thinking about it, I've decided to borrow Kate's operation yellow dress idea (http://cocogirlbutter.blogspot.com.au/p/operation-yellow-dress_20.html)

I'll take photo's every few weeks, and next time I'll measure how far up my thighs they can go,
So excuse the partial nudity but at least you will understand the mammoth task at hand for the 'tummy trimming' feature of said jeans.

This was as far as I could get them up my thighs :(

I've always been a bootcut, boyfriend, flairs kind of jeans person.
Always a size 14 or above to boot.

Also as a side note.... I'm no expert but they look pretty small for 14's...
Given I also picked up 2 pairs of 16 from a friend this week and they are both pretty loose I'm sure these are actually size 10's that have been mislabeled...
.
.
.
Surely,

o_0

Blessed

The most incredible thing happened last night,

Buffalo wings, I love them so much and cannot resist them on a menu

My inlaws paid for round 3 of 12wbt, D and I had made our peace with the fact we wouldn't be able to afford the next round. I was said and a little scared but had busily been saving recipes and building meal plans and really getting revved up about going it alone.
My inner devil was laughing away with the inner dialogue about not having the self control, and I was terrified about it having D home from work for one week has led to a huge amount of overindulgence and 'treat mentality'
2 trips to the cinema's,
4 meals out (all which involved chips and/or dessert)
Pizza and beer infront of the TV
slacking with meals and falling back into old habits...

My goal this week is to tighten my game back up and finish with a bang, my 10kg goal for the round is not going to happen, but rather than sulk, I'll make these last two weeks count.

Cupcake quiches, delish! 

Then my second round,
My inlaws are engaged and interested in our health and have commented on how much better we are eating, and the positive role modelling on the kids. I'd had discussions with MIL about how good the meal planning was and how it made it so easy to know what was coming up next as well as the time saving element of shopping lists. She is a big one for organization so was impressed by this element.
She stated how the kids horizons have expanded, though Master 4 is still picky he is MUCH better than before... and miss 1, well she will give anything a red hot go really.
I was starting to get concerned that they hadn't commented or noticed any weight loss as everyone else around us was full of positive words. Turns out they view it on a different level, to them we are not losing weight we are getting healthy which is so much more important to them than a number on the scales. My FIL has terminal cancer and after years of sideways remarks I've come to realize they want us to be well and that's what's important, not just weight loss, or stopping drinking and smoking.
They can see this program is working for us, so they want us to keep at it.

I am truly blessed by caring and loving people around me.

So tomorrow is weigh in, and I forsee another gain, but that's ok Yesterday was a good day, today will be a good day. If I can be good until end of round then maybe... just maybe...

I can have pizza and beer as a treat!

Miss 1 vs Mexican Pie, hands down winner in the household

Gain

Today started off in a bad way, The alarm sounded at 5:15...

I wanted to hit snooze and bail on the gym, but I didn't I got up and went

Hindsight however has shown me that perhaps sleeping would have been better for me as I only half assed my combat class. Strange for me as I normally start slow but get into it but this morning I never got that second wind.

I'm also really angry at my partner in crime as she was supposed to come, but 'the alarm didn't go off'

*grumble*

D is on holidays this week, so I have the opportunity to go to gym whenever I felt like it... I was doing the 6am class to help my friend out as her partner is working lates this week. 

She feels bad, so now I feel bad for being pissed off about it. 

To add insult to injury when I got on the scales it showed a gain.... 

My inner teenager reared it's ugly head and started the 'it's not working why are you bothering dialogue' Which also didn't help the enthusiasm levels for gym.

I started the excuse train... it's because I'm still holding booze weight from Pink, I'm still holding popcorn from out movie trip on Monday, I haven't drunk enough water... blah blah blah.... 

I've been exercising my heart out, walking heaps done 5 classes in 3 days to try and make up for my sins yet that damn scale still didn't show me what I wanted to see.

*glares at scale* 

My brain was in overdrive, attempting to justify my gain, work out what went wrong.

All other days except Sat I was well within calories, I'd been exercising regularly. Whoever wrote that saying that one meal doesn't ruin a week I want to see you so i can kick you in the shin's... I had one day where I ate carbonara, drank vodka and danced the night away... I even drank sugar free mixers...

Totaling 1755 calories for the day (including booze) 

My net calories are still WAY under for the week....

Mathematics's say I should have lost... did the scale miss the memo... or did I stuff up in a colossal way and not realize. 

Screw you scales,

Screw you maths,

*rage*

Then I took Master 4 to kinder,

In my rush to get ready I left the house in leggings and ugg boot's (I know I'm all bogan class today) 

Was met with wolf whistles and MANY comments on where my ass has gone and how good I'm looking from the other mum's. I was asked about the program, how it was all going and if I liked it. One was asking about the kids and how they like it as she has kids of varying ages and would like to give it a shot.

One comment really stood out, 'It's not even the weight loss, you look so much healthier and happy within yourself" 

This on a day where my inner dialogue was so negative and I'd had a gain.

All of a sudden the voices shut up,

I have achieved so much doing this program and one week and one bad result shouldn't stop me from feeling proud for everything I've done so far. My journey is still in it's infancy but it's really so nice when the rest of the world starts to notice.

10am, maybe my 'bad day' isn't so bad after all.  

Winning

Master 4 getting in to the meatball prep

Work lately has really been getting me down, so much that I cannot change no matter how I want to, I've noticed that my attitude and sleeping patterns have been off because of it. I've taken 3 weeks leave with my final shift being last night. To be honest I have been entertaining the thought of changing jobs but continually putting it in the too hard basket while doing 12wbt. D also has next week off so I'm hoping for some clarity and a chance to really sit down and think about what I want and where I want to be career wise. I know it's not Friday but I have posted some winner NSV's on Facebook this week so I though I'd document them here, so that I can look back on those days when I'm feeling really low.

Even though I missed my dinner break at work last night, I didn't stop at Macca's on the way home, I bought a sandwich and a bottle of water from the service station. Didn't even consider getting chocolate.
I also looked at the nutrition panel, and choose with my head... though the chicken schnitzel one did look yum, wasn't worth the calories though!

I am $30 away from a brand new pair of Asic's that are on layby... I'm so excited as my poor old puma's are almost ready to fall apart.

We love meatballs

I take the high options at Attack and Combat classes, no more 'I cant' I do, until I physically cannot anymore instead of always option for the low options.

Kids have continued to eat EVERYTHING that is being dished up to them. Master 4 is interested and engaged and loves to 'help' cook. At the supermarket he takes great pleasure in getting the veggies that we need and even asks for help. He asked the produce worker where the Gai Lam was today as he couldn't find it.... hence we ended up with two bunches of endives instead but we will go with it.
You can stir fry that right?






I climbed the fire trail at Mt Dandenong with a good friend, took us 2 and a half hours, we got lost twice but made it up and back alive and almost willing to do it again. Though my butt was sore for a good two days.

Snapshot from the top, foggy but still beautiful 

I finally got into the workout tight bandwagon, snaffled some from Aldi, bought L and XL.... the larges fit like a dream so now not sure what to do with the XL pair... :D
My ass looks pretty hot in them too...

Last week had sore and aching muscles for 5/7 days, and kind of liked it

Have turned down yummy foods on offer and opted for better options, Been going to bed early and though still slightly addicted to popcorn and ginger nut cookies is much better than the bag of potato chips and lollies that I used to consume at night.

I ran a km in 6 minutes... does that make me a runner? I never in my wildest dreams thought that I could make that kind of time, that's real running time, not fat shuffling time.
That was with needing to slow and pull up said running tights, does that make them too big? or just gravity and my rolls not compatible at high speeds?



Fingers crossed for a good result tomorrow, though even if I lose nothing on the scales, I feel that I've all ready won :)

Week 8 musings

Though I still have to do my fitness test this week I am feeling like a real winner.

Didn't start off like this though, the past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me, wavering between obsessively on track or in binge mode. I feel like I have dietary bi-polar and working at two ends of the extreme instead of finding that happy middle ground.

Yesterday I had a little moment. I was hanging out with my mothers group for Master 4, now one is a police woman and has worked her but off after having two kids, another my partner in crime for gym classes and has always been pretty fit (or so I always assumed) The 3rd is one of those women that are tiny, eats's crap, never exercises but is still slim and beautiful.
I haven't seen two of them for ages and they were all over my weight loss, questions about what I've been doing and whatnot. So I was talking about the plan, how it worked and weight loss in general. I realized that even though I had assumed they had no idea what it was like to be me, always the fat girl in the group the conversation made me very conscious that even though I have more weight to move, that doesn't give me any additional right to complain or brag about how far I've come. They also have there own struggles and issues and though may 'only' have 5kg to move.
The fact they are so self conscious about it and they don't like it opened my eyes a little. Who am I too say 'don't lose weight, you'll be a stick' and be that friend that encourages them to eat chips because I'm so miserable about my body image. They deserve my acceptance and understanding that they too are struggling and should continue to talk about it, Hopefully now I'll be a contributor to the conversation instead of staying quiet and hating on them in my mind for already being skinny and beautiful so having no right to talk about this.
So I owe all three of them a big fat apology for judging them in my mind.... and hating on them in secret for being kick ass, moving there baby weight and getting on with the program, leaving me the sulking teenager behind eating chips and chocolate in the corner.
My exercise has been smashing and I do think that is what has gotten me through the past few weeks.
I set myself a challenge to 'change it up' on the exercise front and tried a thump boxing class, albeit unintentionally but still I'll take it. I swapped an attack for a spin class and have been swimming. Had planned to go to Yoga but missed the start of the class so landed in a Combat class instead.
Last night I did the hardest spin class in the history of mankind, I was sweating buckets and had the most massive sweaty crack... good thing it was dark.
For SSS this week I'm going to attempt to walk the fire trail up mountain, it's 100% out of my comfort zone but I'm willing to give it a go and I don't care if it takes me all day, I will climb that hill and be grateful when I reach the top!
We have had some winner meals this week, and I've surprised myself by eating things I wouldn't normally have tried let alone enjoyed.
Times are changing in this house, D informed me that he's now lost 10kg in 8 weeks but eating what we eat and tracking on MFP, part of me hates him for it being so easy for him but most of me loves him for sticking out the journey with me and being as involved as he is. I would have fallen and not gotten back up if not for him, especially with the kids. Master 4 has surprised and encouraged me with his ability to adapt and I'm starting to realize this journey is not just about me, the ripple effect all those around me that I love.

Onwards and upwards from here, I have a few reg flag events coming up, including the Pink concert in a few weeks time. So I will hold onto the wagon if it kills me and if I fall will keep getting back up, because as I'm starting to see, the payoff's are a hundred times more worthwhile than I ever thought before.

Feeling brave

I saw this idea on a Facebook group and thought I'd get in on the action,

It's been a long week for me this week but I'm still standing and ready to finish up with a bang!