What just happened?

I can't believe that it's Tuesday,
What on earth happened to the past week, it's like I blinked and missed it.
 Unfortunately I look back at the failings of last week and feel that I haven't come very far in improving my attitude or organization. My exercise has been haphazard, I wagged my run yesterday as the kids were home due to the public holiday. I have double zumba to make it up tonight.

I have had a little amount of family drama. My half sister has decided after 10 years of being estranged to attempt to re-connect with this side of the family. A lot of hurt has been done and many issues will need to be worked through she also has full time custody of her son who is 16, and he still has a book I gave to him when he was 4 the last time I set eyes on him he was younger than my son. It has made for a very introspective time and really working out what is important and creating clear boundaries. I meet with her on Sunday and she was upset but understanding that I had come alone, though she desperately wants a relationship with my kids.
My father is very selfish, and unfortunately that is the person we share. She is desperate to see him and prove that she has come a long way from her last contact. It was heartbreaking to try and explain that he lives in a bubble that don't include myself or my children so her chances of being able to reconnect with him are not great.
I will continue to see her and keep everything crossed that she continues on the path she is on, both for herself and my nephew. As you can imagine it has been an emotionally charged week.
I have had issues at work also this week but they have needed to go on the back burner for the time being. Sooner or later I'll drag that soap box out to climb upon and preach to anyone who will listen.

This weeks mini mission is to stick to the meal plan 100%, today so far so good,
yesterday... not so good.
I will also be aiming for that 9:30 bedtime, now game of thrones has finished I have no excuse to be up late munching popcorn.

Until tomorrow
xoxox

Lazy Saturday Adventures

Given it's a long weekend I decided to customize a few meals this weekend. We will all be home together with the exception of my working commitments so should be a great family weekend. I completed my SSS last night doing an EPIC masterclass.

I'm a little proud of this count! 

I even wagged the end because of my 5am start with Master 4 and it was running late, but 9:45 I was cactus so had to call it a day.

Had a little adventure while shopping this morning and forgot half a dozen things.
Had myself a lovely massage.... ahhhh!
About to pre-cook for the next 3 days but enjoying my pot of countess grey tea first.

Master 4 has requested a go on the wii, so will fire that up for a while this afternoon

Also, my kids had celery with peanut butter, snow pea's, capsicum and cherry tomato's with tatziki to dip in for lunch. I had planned to take pictures but they polished it off before I had a chance.

Massive winner, if I dont lose another kg today showed my that this program is worth every penny!

Begin

So lets begin with an introduction,

I am 4 days shy of turning 31 years old, and for all of those years I have been 'big'

For the past few years I have gone from the happy fat girl to really caring a more about my weight. Not in the classical sense of I cant wear a bikini but because of the health implications. I speak no word of a lie when I say being big has not really bothered me, I was and still am a happy and outgoing person, I wore what I wanted and did what I wanted.
Through my teen's I worked hard, partied hard and didn't really pay much attention to what was going into my mouth.
Through my 20's I worked hard, studied, met the love of my life and became content in my chosen career. I also became a mother. I learnt some terrible and wonderful lessons in my time.
Then I turned 30, and my focus shifted it's not just about me anymore. I can keep being fat or I can change my ways. I have a family that needs me around, I want to be a grandmother and a great grandmother  want to be a blessing on my children, not a burden.
Now I have a family Master 4 and Miss 1 I am noticing the relationship that I have with food also reflecting onto my kids so the buck has officially been stopped. My son would live of chicken nuggets and chocolate and he LOVES to eat. Will my bad habits become his. All those times that I was told no, only to save up and eat that bag of potato chips alone and savor every mouthful. I don't want that for my babes,

I do not want my kids to be comfort eaters
I do not want my kids to be bullied or teased for how they look
I do not want my kids to grow up thinking that they deserve less because of how they look
Most of all
I do not want to be a hypocrite, how can I insist they eat well while I eat like garbage.

I have been slogging it out on my own using snippets of information and tracking what I eat. Though I have been losing it is painfully slow I have had failed attempts at a number of plans and programs that for whatever reason didn't work for me.

I have just signed up for the Michelle Bridges 12wbt,
and I'm excited, my other half is on board and my kids will have to come along for the ride.... kicking and screaming if need be.

That is the purpose of this blog not only to keep myself accountable but to show that this program can be kid friendly, I know it was my biggest concern signing up.

Life has changed, it's not just me anymore, whatever choices I make have a ripple effect on those I love so I need to tread carefully and be the best I can be which will hopefully result in my children being well informed and healthy adults.

Master 4, the hard sell

Miss 1, will try anything once 

I am not perfect but I will do everything in my power to set my children on the right path, and correct my own